There comes a time in every evil dictator's life when a bit of mindless mutilation is called for. The violent and usually gratuitous kind that is utterly pointless. Like some witless foreign espionage, a short regional war, or the testing of some new superweapon.

Fortunately neither you nor I are ever faced with the need to demonstrate our prowess in any such way. Instead, we get to devise ever more cunning Powerpoint slide transitions and celebrate the tabular manipulations of our spreadsheets. And it's usually at times like these when the tension release of the Self Destruction Keychain is called for.

Like its bigger, desktop-bound or wall-mounted brother, it is able to reduce a whole office into hysterics at the mere press of a button. It is perfect at building up tension in the run-up to an important deadline. Then helping it ooze away after the deadline has passed.

To operate, simply flip the perspex lid and depress the red button. Then stand well clear as the sounds of the countdown to Armageddon itself are released. Perfectly portable, the device can be attached to one's mobile phone or keyfob for fully mobile destruction.

Simply take with you wherever you go. And unleash hell upon those in front of you in the queue. We promise you'll find it really rather refreshing.