Ah, the glorious English language, evolved over millennia to its position of global superiority. Gifted to us by Shakespeare and Chaucer, it was perfected by Dickens and Wilde... and completely and utterly mangled by a combination of British Rail and Johnny Foreigner. Let us start by being generous and putting aside the piffling matter of bags of nuts that say 'Contains Nuts'. For we should focus on matters of greater concern - of mattresses that say 'Do not attempt to swallow', irons that say 'Remove clothes before attempting to iron it' and a toaster that asks that its operatives not to use it underwater. This magnificent compilation is a comprehensive assortment of the batty, the ill-thought-through and the downright stupid. All well intentioned, we're sure, but equally misguided.

For when it comes to instructions in plain English, we humans have a talent for getting it all front to back and round the houses. Whether these Instructions Gone Bad are symptomatic of a corruption of business English, or merely the result of appalling translation, we can all sit back and relish the fact that our Inglish aint sew bad afferall, init. A howlingly funny tome of howlers. Read and weep. Suitable for all ages