Let us first make clear, to the best of our knowledge the Chippendales are still performing and there are no rumours of a split. So ladies, if you haven't already done so, you may put your hankies away now. However, if the worst was to happen, there is a duo waiting in the wings. They are known as Push-up Preston and Dumbell Dwayne.

Both come resplendent in speedos, with killer muscles and chiselled jaws to boot. Wind them up and they start to perform their simple but mesmerising muscle beach routine. When they're finished, you can pop them in your handbag for safekeeping. We can confirm you are not allowed to do this with a Chippendale. Note: speedos do not come off.