Before we continue, a disclaimer: we do not, on any occasion, condone the racing of elderly people. It leads to nothing but fuss and confusion for all participants.Hence the development of a safe alternative: let us demonstrate (please stand back): Take one racing granny in hand. With thumb and forefinger tightly grasp the simple plastic wind-up mechanism protruding from granny's fetching yellow jacket. Turn a number of times until granny is fully wound-up. Place your racing granny carefully on to a flat surface then... release. As you'll see granny shoots along at a staggering pace overtaking everything, despite being overwhelming arthritic.

Warning: may cause mass hysteria. Two racing grannies included in a pack. For your reference classic granny names include: Hilda, Vera, Nora, Betty, and Maureen.