Before we continue, a disclaimer: we do not, on any occasion, condone actual pensioner fighting. It leads to nothing but fuss and confusion for all participants. Hence the development of a safe alternative: fighting grandads. Let us demonstrate (please stand back): Take one fighting grandad in hand. With thumb and forefinger tightly grasp the simple plastic wind-up mechanism protruding from grandad's fetching yellow jacket. Turn a number of times until grandad is fully wound-up.

Place your grandad carefully on to a flat surface then... release. As you'll see grandad steams forward, brandishing his walking stick and pulling his shopping trolley furiously behind, despite being overwhelming arthritic. He is determined to make his point is heard. Warning: may cause mass hysteria. Classic grandad names include: Cyril, George, Bert, Dennis, and Frank.Two fighting grandads included in a pack.