There simply is nothing quite like a dazzling one-liner to help snare the affections of a damsel at the bar. And nothing better than a dazzling one-liner with which to metaphorically beat your enemies around the chops in the office.

Now there's a collection of both tongue-in-cheek pick-ups and devastating put-downs and, at gadgetshop HQ, we can report that we have tested them all on a willing set of participants - and all strictly under laboratory conditions.

In the Damsel Test, we sought the most attractive people in the Accounts Department, plied them with Appletisers, then attempted to give them some chat, as we believe it's called, assailing them with cheesy compliments from the collection of pick-up lines. A series of electrodes attached to their more sensitive parts registered any variance in impulse, such as dilation of the pupils.

In the Damned Test, we sought-out our most thick-skinned colleagues from the Transport Department, plied them with cold coffee, then attempted to insult them as best we could using the assortment of caustic put-downs provided by this most comprehensive collection. Again, a set of electrodes measured any emotional response.

The results were astonishing and, frankly, confirm our belief that the best way to charm and disarm is by humour - for these insults and compliments had us all rolling in the aisles. In this flip-top book - which comes in a neat 'tent' format to allow it to be propped-up on your desk - there's more than enough to satisfy both cravings. Super-duper.