Attention. This is not a gadget. It is a bikini for men, a subject which makes us men here at gadgetshop HQ hastily cross and uncross our legs before coughing loudly and talking about 'sports' and slasher movies.

It looks better on Borat than it does on my colleage Simon, which is genuinely saying something. Maybe it's Simon's Clarks Pathfinders that spoil the effect.

So let's not talk about men. Let's take a dispassionate look at the functional benefits of the mankini over more conventional swimwear. First, it's a one-piece for convenience. Then, it's lurid shade of lime, meaning that it's going to get you seen. Lots. So it's safe when you're in the water. Additionally, it's official 20th Century Fox cinematic merchandise, so it's not some Khazak rio-off that will have you scratching all the way to your GP.

Crucially, it possesses a pouch in which to safely stow one's crown jewels. And finally, it is emblazoned with the Borat cinematic logo device, just in case anyone should think your efforts serious.

So there you have it. Makes a terrific comedy gift. An amazing Secret Santa. A self-deprecating poolside appearance. And a guaranteed (but polite) refusal at the door to the Sistine Chapel.

The Mankini is now among us. Buy at your peril.