I once killed Dennis Law. And brutally maimed the late George Best. As for Joe Jordan, well, he had his head chewed off by my little brother Graham. And just don't ask what happened to poor Ray Clemence when I trod on him.

I'm speaking metaphorically, of course, through the boyhood medium that is Subbuteo. Fiendishly difficult to pronounce - like Borussia Monchengladbach - and even more difficult to play when you've broken your fingers.

Now you can put the boyhood pain of RSI in your favourite flicking forefinger behind you and celebrate - no, wallow - in the manly joy that is the Subbuteo Cufflink collection. These genuine reproduction Subbuteo players are now a good deal more robust than their forebears, having been immortalised forever in shiny, solid metal to adorn your poshest shirt.

Standing to attention and ready for action, the choice of name for your players is very much in your gift. Perhaps a famous strike partnership. Or a double act at the back. Or maybe, going for comedy value, you may wish to call one Marcus Bent and the other Eric Djemba-Djemba. The decision will not be an easy one.

One tip, however, direct from the Tip Repository here at gadgetshop HQ. Do not leave lying on the floor. They hurt like bally-o when trodden on. And under no circumstances attempt to flick.