Oh do shut up. Not you, dear customer, obviously. What we're talking about here is the simply infernal racket of the gogglebox. You know, the crystal bucket. The goldfish bowl. Your Sony Trinitron, Panasonic Viera or 52" Hashimoto Magnatube with its flatter, squarer picture. Now, if television blights your life with its incessant dross, there is at last a solution that does not involve a mallet and a lot of sparks.

And the clue is in its name. The TV B Gone is the perfect pocket-sized remote control. A remote with the ultimate in user-friendliness on account of its limited functionality. Just point at the nearest TV - that's any old TV - and shoot. And the TV will be blasted with a high-power beam of infra-red radiation and promptly switch itself off. Brilliance.

Take it down the pub on Champion's League night for a giggle. Or to your girlfriend's when she's settled down with a kilo of Kettle Chips and a re-run of Location Location Location. Or keep on your keyring for emergency use at home, for example, when the Vicar pops round unexpectedly.

Best of all, it works at a range of up to 15 metres. So with a bit of luck and a following wind, you could in theory take out half the street at once. But use with caution, telly haters. For the wrath of a woman deprived of her fix of CSI is not to be taken lightly.