Now, if you're thinking what we're thinking - namely that Express DJ sounds like the title of an obscure European techno magazine for trainspotters, then think again. For this is the way to pump-out block-rockin beats at the drop of a hat, and whip yourself into a mix, anywhere, anytime, direct from your PC. Yes, you can even turn yourself into a mixmeister on the train with some appropriate external amplification. And that's no mean feat on the 07.17 from Dorking.

This complete kit has all that a budding vinyl-spinning guru could wish for, only in miniature form. Yet despite its size, the kit enables advanced mixology, including full beat-matching, cross-fading and aligning for the silkiest and smoothest of mixing with unspottable joins.

Seamlessly interfacing with one's laptop with easy-to-use 'drag-and-drop' playlist creation, you can even save your finest mixes for public exposition, tweaking the onboard HQ as you go. There's even a mic should you wish to engage in a touch of 'freestyling' (although at gadgetshop EQ we still think this is a type of swimming).

Then suddenly you're a DJ. A modern god. A sex icon. Not a trainee accountant. And your fellow passengers will bow down in awe.

So next time if all of your scratching is making you itch and you wanna get fresh with a few laydeez, there's only one thing you should do. When you're asked 'Where's the party at?' simply answer 'Wherever I am'. And smile a smug DJ smile.