In our view, and it is a widely-held one, there is nothing more irritating than the sight of a common-or-garden housefly endlessly circling a lightbulb. It is more irritating than the average edition of Hello! Magazine. More irritating than the sound of chalk on blackboard. More irritating, even, than a terrible itch down in the Balkans.

Now at last there is a way to scratch one's insect-related itch by summoning up the sheer might and bug-catching power of the Bug Net Gun, a device so cunning in its construction that almost no flying animal (short, perhaps, of a sparrow) can escape its clutches. In short, it is death, destroyer of worlds.

Permit us to elucidate. Nestled deep in this Flash Gordon-esque plastic space zapper is a tight-woven net attached to four darts. Releasing the spring-controlled release catch (that's the trigger to you and me) unleashes an almighty hell in the direction of the nearest aphid.

As the darts shoot from the gun casing, the net expands in much the style of the drogue parachute from the space shuttle on landing, trapping tiny flying objects in its path and enabling you to claim your latest insect-cum-trophy without so much as reaching for the bug spray. So it's clean, effective, and dashed environmentally sound, too.

Zap away. And be a man about bug-catching at last.